what is the word, you know them all so give me the word
you think of when i tell you that 3 days after i buried her
i took a redeye to baton rouge in july and drove a rental nissan
up and down the 110 for hours, then pulled over to a small bridge
over the monte sano bayou river, which was more mud than river,
then i chain smoked menthols while the mosquitoes swarmed my neck and arms.
i thought of the diane seuss piece where she talks about god
using the black sea as a shitty mirror, and tried to find a reflection
in the monte sano as i ashed into the mud, then wished god
had made mud flammable.
at 9 i found the closest diner, got an oyster po boy by the window
and ate as the vinegar from the giardiniera dripped on the tablecloth
down to my lap, while flecks of mustard seed from the remoulade
got caught in my teeth.

i left louisana later that morning.
they charged me $250 for the clumps of marlboro ashes
that gathered together on the dashboard.